I saw a rainbow today. It probably has been about 10 years or so since I can remember having seen one. And I got to show it to my 3 year old, which was cool, too. :) To get all goofy and philosophical about it, it signifies a new beginning for this country, having been a bit battered of late. I am so happy that sweeping change is hopefully in the mix, with newness and optimism thrown in for good measure. I was so moved by the concession speech of John McCain, also, oddly enough, it was back to the cool guy everyone used to like, and I loved what he said and how earnestly he said it- a truly classy and proud American. To imagine how far this country has come to be able to elect to the highest office an amazing person who also happens to be of minority race is fantastic. Of course, being white myself I can't truly know what people experience day-to-day, but I have to hope that this would blast away the last of any "victimization" people might feel from the past history of discrimination, and know now that the racist people who still remain are not of any relevance, and therefore should not be considered a hindrance to success and happiness for anyone. I hope that is the case!
I guess I didn't send out a news bulletin to some of my friends/acquaintances, though, when I changed political teams a mere 3.5-4 years ago. My best friend and I apparently don't talk politics much, because when she asked me what I thought of last night and I said I was happy, she was fairly surprised! Likewise, at work, the people who are known to be republican (a minority there) still talk to me like I'm "one of them" when stuff like that comes up. It's kinda funny. :)
On the job front- another good omen- my fate is not sealed, but rather rests in the hands of the County Executive. My agency and the division that is attempting to hire me back full time has apparently decided they can afford me, and management has agreed it would be a good idea. But, it must get approval from that "head appointed guy" since there is a hiring freeze of late.
Other random thoughts for today:
I'd like to start letting this blog live up to its name by making daily or nearly daily entries. I think it is good therapy. If I do have any readers, apologies if it becomes TMI.
I'd also like to have more to say in this blog about the weight loss journey, which caused its beginning in earnest but has never quite gotten off the ground for long enough to stay aloft. Stay tuned, I haven't given up!
Lastly, my tongue is miserably cut up and swollen from the new additions to my braces. I'm not quite to the home stretch, but at least I am in the fourth quarter, and supposedly this is the last of crap to be added. Now it is just to be a rubber band ballet to get the final moves needed. Oy.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Now, to talk about me...
Ok, so I've been absent from this blog for a bit, my loyal self-therapist that it is, and I'm definitely noticing the effects. Apparently unloading on here really helps take some of the jumble out of the ole' upstairs for me, and I am in need of it more often than I indulge. The personal life of a mom is often pushed to the back of the priority list of her own accord, and although I know I shouldn't let that happen I can't help it.
I have had so many things to talk about in the last month that, stepping back, I'd say I've pretty much been riding a roller coaster. And I have no view of the end of the ride, either, which is a pain the ass. I suspect that this continued chaos of good and bad, stress and relief happening in my life accounts for the poor care I continue to offer myself.
The weekend after my last post was Columbus Day weekend, and it was a huge winner. Unbelievably gorgeous weather, and I spent the weekend at the beach house with my dear husband and sweet boy, plus my favorite aunt and uncle. Three days at the beach in a temperate early fall and a Wine Festival. Yes, it was heaven! I took one long run (in which I achieved my recent best of running 1.4 miles straight, and then walking 2 miles back,) and my head was filled with joy and peace. There was a fantastic breeze but it was warm, the monarch butterflies were migrating (I counted 125 on one-way of the boardwalk), and my heart was singing. This was in sharp contrast to the angst of not knowing about my job yet before leaving.
Follow that up with hectic but EXTREMELY FUN planning, decorating, and execution of dual (not dueling, hardy har) Halloween Parties! I could not have been more pleased with the outcomes of those- good turnout, kids happy, good turnout again, adults having fun, interesting conversation, loved it. THEN came the happy but pressure filled week finalizing the plans for and executing Kristie and Dave's wedding. Now,this marvelous, beautiful, touching wedding and easygoing elegant reception were a MARVEL of things going almost exactly as planned. Could it be that my own awesome self was responsible for that in some small or large part? Because, let me tell you, it is highly improbable for a wedding and reception to go THAT well. Funny thing was, though, that during dinner, while I was relaxing for a second and realizing the hardest parts were done, I had a nasty wave of anxiety wash over/out of me and make me feel quite nautious and weak for a bit. But I got over it. I'm such a pansy!
Weaving in to that week was further stressful delay in finding out about my job ststus, with the added information that my current boss was denied hiring a tech person that HE needs, so he suspects I will get hosed also, but they haven't told me. He did authorize a band aid if I need it of going up to 20 hours from 15. Which I WILL absolutely do as soon as I know if the full time spot is a no. I also had a few moments of pressure squeeze me while I was encouraged by my sweet and forward thinking hubby to apply for an outside Planning job that I am not qualified for on a longshot. But I DO plan to start applying for other stuff, if there is any. Ug, it's just not a fun process...
Another underlying stressor of the last several months was actually resolved yesterday, though, which was the BOMB. Adam's teachers are seeing the same improvement in communication that we are, and they not only said they do NOT think he needs speech therapy, but further they finally see how smart he is and think he's very advanced. We've always thought so, but I don't fully trust my own bias. The enormity of that joy and relief was indescribable!!!
Tonight I'm going to stay up all night and watch the fate of our country unfold historically, and I am spending the next THREE WEEKENDS in a row at the beach house. Can't go wrong there, hopefully it will drown out the negativity between now and my FAVORITE day of the year, Thanksgiving!! (The beach weekend I am most looking forward to is this coming weekend, which will be a couple's weekend with good friends and no kids!)
So, screw the county, I'm not even asking about that job anymore, it's embarassing to be a broken record with a matching response each week. "Any word yet?" "We hope to hear something this week..." Then the inevitable silence. Repeat next week. They are just going to have to suck it up and come tell me the verdict in their own time. Meantime I am hoping to gather the energy and focus to drum up more wedding business and seek out alternate full time employment.
I have had so many things to talk about in the last month that, stepping back, I'd say I've pretty much been riding a roller coaster. And I have no view of the end of the ride, either, which is a pain the ass. I suspect that this continued chaos of good and bad, stress and relief happening in my life accounts for the poor care I continue to offer myself.
The weekend after my last post was Columbus Day weekend, and it was a huge winner. Unbelievably gorgeous weather, and I spent the weekend at the beach house with my dear husband and sweet boy, plus my favorite aunt and uncle. Three days at the beach in a temperate early fall and a Wine Festival. Yes, it was heaven! I took one long run (in which I achieved my recent best of running 1.4 miles straight, and then walking 2 miles back,) and my head was filled with joy and peace. There was a fantastic breeze but it was warm, the monarch butterflies were migrating (I counted 125 on one-way of the boardwalk), and my heart was singing. This was in sharp contrast to the angst of not knowing about my job yet before leaving.
Follow that up with hectic but EXTREMELY FUN planning, decorating, and execution of dual (not dueling, hardy har) Halloween Parties! I could not have been more pleased with the outcomes of those- good turnout, kids happy, good turnout again, adults having fun, interesting conversation, loved it. THEN came the happy but pressure filled week finalizing the plans for and executing Kristie and Dave's wedding. Now,this marvelous, beautiful, touching wedding and easygoing elegant reception were a MARVEL of things going almost exactly as planned. Could it be that my own awesome self was responsible for that in some small or large part? Because, let me tell you, it is highly improbable for a wedding and reception to go THAT well. Funny thing was, though, that during dinner, while I was relaxing for a second and realizing the hardest parts were done, I had a nasty wave of anxiety wash over/out of me and make me feel quite nautious and weak for a bit. But I got over it. I'm such a pansy!
Weaving in to that week was further stressful delay in finding out about my job ststus, with the added information that my current boss was denied hiring a tech person that HE needs, so he suspects I will get hosed also, but they haven't told me. He did authorize a band aid if I need it of going up to 20 hours from 15. Which I WILL absolutely do as soon as I know if the full time spot is a no. I also had a few moments of pressure squeeze me while I was encouraged by my sweet and forward thinking hubby to apply for an outside Planning job that I am not qualified for on a longshot. But I DO plan to start applying for other stuff, if there is any. Ug, it's just not a fun process...
Another underlying stressor of the last several months was actually resolved yesterday, though, which was the BOMB. Adam's teachers are seeing the same improvement in communication that we are, and they not only said they do NOT think he needs speech therapy, but further they finally see how smart he is and think he's very advanced. We've always thought so, but I don't fully trust my own bias. The enormity of that joy and relief was indescribable!!!
Tonight I'm going to stay up all night and watch the fate of our country unfold historically, and I am spending the next THREE WEEKENDS in a row at the beach house. Can't go wrong there, hopefully it will drown out the negativity between now and my FAVORITE day of the year, Thanksgiving!! (The beach weekend I am most looking forward to is this coming weekend, which will be a couple's weekend with good friends and no kids!)
So, screw the county, I'm not even asking about that job anymore, it's embarassing to be a broken record with a matching response each week. "Any word yet?" "We hope to hear something this week..." Then the inevitable silence. Repeat next week. They are just going to have to suck it up and come tell me the verdict in their own time. Meantime I am hoping to gather the energy and focus to drum up more wedding business and seek out alternate full time employment.
Proud to be American on Election Day!
Is there anything more cool than the fact that our ENTIRE country of proper age is able to go out today and say who they want to be in charge next?! It only took me 5 minutes to vote, but I would have waited 4 hours if asked. I hope everyone else values this privledge as much as I do... I bet the world is pretty intrigued to see what happens, too. I never get tired of it, especially when it is NOT a done deal, and in this case, it's history either way!
You do realize that it's just dumb, karmic luck (or a gift from God, depending on how you feel about things) that you HAPPENED to be born in THIS country, and that you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want, and have more opportunity here than anywhere else in the world to make good things out of yourself and your life?! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT, GET YOUR ASSES TO THE POLLS TODAY!!! :)
Then, have fun tonight watching and waiting, and if you dare to go to sleep before the outcome is assured, don't be shocked in the morning. I personally will be glued.
You do realize that it's just dumb, karmic luck (or a gift from God, depending on how you feel about things) that you HAPPENED to be born in THIS country, and that you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want, and have more opportunity here than anywhere else in the world to make good things out of yourself and your life?! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT, GET YOUR ASSES TO THE POLLS TODAY!!! :)
Then, have fun tonight watching and waiting, and if you dare to go to sleep before the outcome is assured, don't be shocked in the morning. I personally will be glued.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Two Sides of the Coin (A Long One...)
So, I had a positive start to a healthier life over the last few days, and I will talk about that first. Then I need to bitch about some things that piss me off because I'm feeling cranky this morning. But I'll try to end on a positive note for my own good after that!
First, the good. I have gone through a zillion proposed "start" dates for achieving a more healthy lifestyle, and most of them come and go with only a few hours of success, at best. That's sad, but clearly I have a lot going on inside that causes me to be so strongly addicted to unhealthy bad food. I think I've said it before, but I clearly medicate myself with food to try to distract myself from other things. And the compulsion to do so can be extremely intense, leaving me feeling like it's not even an option or within my control. And sometimes I don't even notice that I'm mindlessly eating, or if I do am not always enjoying it. On rare occasion, when I have had success with doing better, it was like a switch had been turned on and I was able to do it almost easily, without any explanation of what might have tripped the switch. And then, eventually, the switch got turned back off. So, here's the thing- this time, maybe through all the prep and build up, as well as the public exposure of my plans, I think I must have forced the switch on. It's like the stroller I just got on Freecycle to replace the one I ran over and broke (yes, an embarrassing long story)- unlike many mechanisms that work well with a more gentle touch, this one only opens if you really put sudden pressure on it and jam it open. I think I may have succeeded in jamming on the elusive switch this time, and I am going to put on goalie pads and pick up a large stick to beat away any negative influences that may try to shut it back off before I get to my goals!
Monday and Tuesday I got plenty of exercise with long walks pushing the stroller (and had played a hard hockey game Sunday night too,) and I was easily able to eat within and even under my Points limit. I already started feeling better both physically and about myself, and I started to shed the first couple pounds of water weight already. Yesterday, Day 3, was a lot tougher with it being a work day. Sitting on my ass at a desk apparently makes me want to eat more! And it's also a lot tougher to fit in workouts on those days. I had planned another walk in the afternoon, but it got overcast and my newly exercised body asked for a break, so I caved. This combined with the extra snacks (albeit healthy) caused my healthy dinner to send me well over on the points, BUT- I did not throw in the towel! That is usually my classic mistake, normally once I "fail" it is a free pass to do whatever I want, but I only had a diet hot chocolate for dessert and called it a night. So, almost half a week down, and the switch is still safe. Considering it supposedly takes 21 days to form new habits, 3 days down, 18 to go!
Now, last night I fell asleep VERY early and slept hard, but still woke up feeling tired and cranky. That is is large part I suspect to hormonal issues commonly occurring the week prior to my period. I know, TMI if any guys are reading, sorry. But it is legit, and some months it's no big deal, but others can really bring me down a notch in energy. So, this morning I get up to a 3 year old already being a total pill (earlier than usual for him!) and a house that is back to looking like a bomb went off in it after focusing on me a little bit for a mere 3 days, and having relaxed for one evening. That makes me mad, and it's no WONDER so many moms end up fat and tired after they have kids! Everything and everyone else usually needs to come first. I am starting to believe that the moms who are slender, energetic, and seem to have their act completely together should be smacked (no offense to any of my friends who may fit this description.) I'm also pissed that the job I'm supposedly being fast-tracked for is still hanging. I was told yesterday that it would be another week at the soonest. So much for the interview just being a formality! And how ironic that I'm so desperate to get a job that will force me back to full time, will be a downgrade, is not what I've ever wanted to do, and will only marginally improve my status on the budget cuts list!
Ok, enough whining, I think I feel better. The good thing is, now that a couple of hours have gone by the feelings of waking up on the wrong side of the bed this morning are subsiding, and I need to get back to work. I am still feeling in control, and I'll have the next two days to get organized (again) and clean up the house (again) and do more laundry (constant) to be ready to get us all packed up. This weekend we are headed to the beach with my aunt and uncle for a wine festival, and as long as I can keep my eating in check and exercise a LOT like I don't mind doing at the beach, it'll be a great time and I'll continue to make progress!
First, the good. I have gone through a zillion proposed "start" dates for achieving a more healthy lifestyle, and most of them come and go with only a few hours of success, at best. That's sad, but clearly I have a lot going on inside that causes me to be so strongly addicted to unhealthy bad food. I think I've said it before, but I clearly medicate myself with food to try to distract myself from other things. And the compulsion to do so can be extremely intense, leaving me feeling like it's not even an option or within my control. And sometimes I don't even notice that I'm mindlessly eating, or if I do am not always enjoying it. On rare occasion, when I have had success with doing better, it was like a switch had been turned on and I was able to do it almost easily, without any explanation of what might have tripped the switch. And then, eventually, the switch got turned back off. So, here's the thing- this time, maybe through all the prep and build up, as well as the public exposure of my plans, I think I must have forced the switch on. It's like the stroller I just got on Freecycle to replace the one I ran over and broke (yes, an embarrassing long story)- unlike many mechanisms that work well with a more gentle touch, this one only opens if you really put sudden pressure on it and jam it open. I think I may have succeeded in jamming on the elusive switch this time, and I am going to put on goalie pads and pick up a large stick to beat away any negative influences that may try to shut it back off before I get to my goals!
Monday and Tuesday I got plenty of exercise with long walks pushing the stroller (and had played a hard hockey game Sunday night too,) and I was easily able to eat within and even under my Points limit. I already started feeling better both physically and about myself, and I started to shed the first couple pounds of water weight already. Yesterday, Day 3, was a lot tougher with it being a work day. Sitting on my ass at a desk apparently makes me want to eat more! And it's also a lot tougher to fit in workouts on those days. I had planned another walk in the afternoon, but it got overcast and my newly exercised body asked for a break, so I caved. This combined with the extra snacks (albeit healthy) caused my healthy dinner to send me well over on the points, BUT- I did not throw in the towel! That is usually my classic mistake, normally once I "fail" it is a free pass to do whatever I want, but I only had a diet hot chocolate for dessert and called it a night. So, almost half a week down, and the switch is still safe. Considering it supposedly takes 21 days to form new habits, 3 days down, 18 to go!
Now, last night I fell asleep VERY early and slept hard, but still woke up feeling tired and cranky. That is is large part I suspect to hormonal issues commonly occurring the week prior to my period. I know, TMI if any guys are reading, sorry. But it is legit, and some months it's no big deal, but others can really bring me down a notch in energy. So, this morning I get up to a 3 year old already being a total pill (earlier than usual for him!) and a house that is back to looking like a bomb went off in it after focusing on me a little bit for a mere 3 days, and having relaxed for one evening. That makes me mad, and it's no WONDER so many moms end up fat and tired after they have kids! Everything and everyone else usually needs to come first. I am starting to believe that the moms who are slender, energetic, and seem to have their act completely together should be smacked (no offense to any of my friends who may fit this description.) I'm also pissed that the job I'm supposedly being fast-tracked for is still hanging. I was told yesterday that it would be another week at the soonest. So much for the interview just being a formality! And how ironic that I'm so desperate to get a job that will force me back to full time, will be a downgrade, is not what I've ever wanted to do, and will only marginally improve my status on the budget cuts list!
Ok, enough whining, I think I feel better. The good thing is, now that a couple of hours have gone by the feelings of waking up on the wrong side of the bed this morning are subsiding, and I need to get back to work. I am still feeling in control, and I'll have the next two days to get organized (again) and clean up the house (again) and do more laundry (constant) to be ready to get us all packed up. This weekend we are headed to the beach with my aunt and uncle for a wine festival, and as long as I can keep my eating in check and exercise a LOT like I don't mind doing at the beach, it'll be a great time and I'll continue to make progress!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
A Day of Success. I'm Cautiously Optimistic!
Ok, so I was afraid to even write about a successful first day until I actually went to bed and woke up again first, but I made it. (I had nightmare visions of writing about a successful day and then finding myself up to my elbow in a bag of something before having made it to bed!) The first day was great, and weirdly enough, I felt very energetic about it. What a relief! Got in a good walking workout, ate under the Weight Watchers points limit, and even got a lot done around during naptime instead of being lazy myself. Sunday night's late hockey game didn't even enter the picture, but I am definitely feeling it today. I slept long and like a rock, and I am still tired! That will require some caution, because I tend to grab the junk food when I am either stressed or tired, but one solid day is a huge start in the right direction. :) Go, me!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Ready to Make a Real Change
So, this time, I think am ready to truly focus on me, and ready to do this thing and get healthy. This morning I clocked in at 202, now 52 pounds away from my goal instead of the 50 when I first started writing about it! Today I will prepare by making sure the tempting foods are away, planning an aggressive workout schedule, and reminding myself of all the good reasons to stick with it this time. Tomorrow is the day I really will start down a healthier road. I'm not "dieting" per se (so I am telling myself), just aggressively improving my lifestyle and health. I will track what I eat through the Weight Watchers points system, and I will not give up every time I slip up as in times past. Cumulative successes are enough to make a difference. Major changes in routine take 21 days to become something of a habit, so perhaps by Halloween I will have a reliable program in working order and already be seeing success. Wish me luck!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Some Deadlines I Want to be Slim for:
This is a motivational list to supplement the 50 good reasons posted last Friday. These are particular events I feel strongly about being at a healthy, slim weight in time for! They are:
(listed chronologically)
-Sprint Distance Triathlon(s) Summer 2009- For my 30th birthday in March 2001 I went a little nutty considering I was only in mediocre shape and I ran (well, walked a lot) A 10K race in DC, having never done anything like that before. Since then, I have previously dabbled in triathlons, while still remaining mostly out-of-shape, and not at all since having the kid. I finished the two events I actually showed up for (one Sprint, one Olympic,) but pretty much last place. (I was EXACTLY last in the Reston Olympic distance, what a hoot! They were closing the course behind me.) Unfortunately, for those two I did, I've probably registered and paid for 5 or 6 others that I've not gotten ready for and didn't show up for. They're expensive, too, that's a lotta cash. My goal is to get back into shape to really enjoy and do well in triathlons again. There are a number of local Sprint Distance options to consider, particularly looking for Reston.
***-20 Year High School Reunion October 2009 (oh my GOD, isn't that something old people go to?!?!) I might actually have more people to talk to than I did at the 10-year, 'cause a big contingent of my class have been signing up on and communicating through Facebook. Funny that we're all having a little burst of yearning for our youth at the same time. :)
-Halloween 2009- Now that I have successfully revived my "family" interest in Halloween by planning a party this year, I expect to have another costume party next year, and I'd like to wear one of the more suggestive looking costumes (which is all you see that's any good in the stores, anyway.) I'd like us to do the doctor with slutty nurse combo, and/or I've also always wanted to do a dominatrix outfit. Hehehe...
-10 year Wedding Anniversary and Beach re-wedding ceremony, Spring 2010. Yes, I am now a wedding planner, I adore weddings AND the beach, and now my parents have a house fronting on the beach. Good excuse to plan another wedding, just the way I would have liked it if I didn't already like the way we did it before. :) And want to be able to look awesome in a lightweight little sundress!
**-A Vegas second honeymoon- after the wedding at the latest, or possibly sooner depending on finances. I do NOT want to go back to Vegas until I can wear the cute, tiny clothes that I've always wanted to wear, there (that would only be appropriate there!)
-Triathlon season summer 2010- I want to do a couple of Olympic Distance races this year, assuming I've done at least one Sprint the previous year. Reston for sure, in September, and hopefully one other one. There were some newer options I read about this year, plenty of time to research once I really am working out and getting into shape.
****-My 40th Birthday, March 2, 2011! (Ok, that's a very long way off, but seriously, the ONLY way I can handle that without a complete psychological meltdown is to be feeling really good about my hot self by then!) The good thing is I have PLENTY of time for that one, but yet it looms for me mentally, already, only because I feel like such an overwhelmed tired out-of-shape mess now...
So, there you have it, in print, seven different timed goals for losing weight and being healthy. Put those together with my previously listed 50 good reasons to lose 50 (now 51) pounds, and that sounds like a recipe for motivation. I know I have had a LOT of "start dates" that haven't lasted more than a day (or a few hours), but the latest is going to be Monday, October 6. I'm trying to do the prep in advance, like getting used to writing down food points again (have been sporadically and have my notebook ready) and getting myself to the gym (planning to do so this weekend with the whole family, if not sooner too.) I also have a plan for working out at lunchtime sometimes if/when I return to work full time. Must come up with a full now as-is and later full-time plan incorporating all avenues: walks, gym, home tapes, Mommy Boot Camp, Rec. Center, etc. It's going to be pretty ambitious, but I think that's the only way for me to make a big change. I've been trying to sneak up on it the "Kaizen" method of a little bit at a time, but I'm not being able to partially eat much better, I'm kind of all or nothing when it comes to food.
The last thing I have to decide is whether or not to expose myself to more outside involvement/encouragement. I started this blog partly to be able to sound off about my feelings as I roll through life, but also as a means of documenting and sharing my weight loss experience. I posted the link to my Facebook profile, but I didn't announce it or anything, so it's probably not much known, I only know of one person who has looked at it. The question is, can I benefit from the scrutiny of throwing it more public, or is that TMI about me for most people, especially if I still fear repeated failure? I guess I don't have to decide today.
(listed chronologically)
-Sprint Distance Triathlon(s) Summer 2009- For my 30th birthday in March 2001 I went a little nutty considering I was only in mediocre shape and I ran (well, walked a lot) A 10K race in DC, having never done anything like that before. Since then, I have previously dabbled in triathlons, while still remaining mostly out-of-shape, and not at all since having the kid. I finished the two events I actually showed up for (one Sprint, one Olympic,) but pretty much last place. (I was EXACTLY last in the Reston Olympic distance, what a hoot! They were closing the course behind me.) Unfortunately, for those two I did, I've probably registered and paid for 5 or 6 others that I've not gotten ready for and didn't show up for. They're expensive, too, that's a lotta cash. My goal is to get back into shape to really enjoy and do well in triathlons again. There are a number of local Sprint Distance options to consider, particularly looking for Reston.
***-20 Year High School Reunion October 2009 (oh my GOD, isn't that something old people go to?!?!) I might actually have more people to talk to than I did at the 10-year, 'cause a big contingent of my class have been signing up on and communicating through Facebook. Funny that we're all having a little burst of yearning for our youth at the same time. :)
-Halloween 2009- Now that I have successfully revived my "family" interest in Halloween by planning a party this year, I expect to have another costume party next year, and I'd like to wear one of the more suggestive looking costumes (which is all you see that's any good in the stores, anyway.) I'd like us to do the doctor with slutty nurse combo, and/or I've also always wanted to do a dominatrix outfit. Hehehe...
-10 year Wedding Anniversary and Beach re-wedding ceremony, Spring 2010. Yes, I am now a wedding planner, I adore weddings AND the beach, and now my parents have a house fronting on the beach. Good excuse to plan another wedding, just the way I would have liked it if I didn't already like the way we did it before. :) And want to be able to look awesome in a lightweight little sundress!
**-A Vegas second honeymoon- after the wedding at the latest, or possibly sooner depending on finances. I do NOT want to go back to Vegas until I can wear the cute, tiny clothes that I've always wanted to wear, there (that would only be appropriate there!)
-Triathlon season summer 2010- I want to do a couple of Olympic Distance races this year, assuming I've done at least one Sprint the previous year. Reston for sure, in September, and hopefully one other one. There were some newer options I read about this year, plenty of time to research once I really am working out and getting into shape.
****-My 40th Birthday, March 2, 2011! (Ok, that's a very long way off, but seriously, the ONLY way I can handle that without a complete psychological meltdown is to be feeling really good about my hot self by then!) The good thing is I have PLENTY of time for that one, but yet it looms for me mentally, already, only because I feel like such an overwhelmed tired out-of-shape mess now...
So, there you have it, in print, seven different timed goals for losing weight and being healthy. Put those together with my previously listed 50 good reasons to lose 50 (now 51) pounds, and that sounds like a recipe for motivation. I know I have had a LOT of "start dates" that haven't lasted more than a day (or a few hours), but the latest is going to be Monday, October 6. I'm trying to do the prep in advance, like getting used to writing down food points again (have been sporadically and have my notebook ready) and getting myself to the gym (planning to do so this weekend with the whole family, if not sooner too.) I also have a plan for working out at lunchtime sometimes if/when I return to work full time. Must come up with a full now as-is and later full-time plan incorporating all avenues: walks, gym, home tapes, Mommy Boot Camp, Rec. Center, etc. It's going to be pretty ambitious, but I think that's the only way for me to make a big change. I've been trying to sneak up on it the "Kaizen" method of a little bit at a time, but I'm not being able to partially eat much better, I'm kind of all or nothing when it comes to food.
The last thing I have to decide is whether or not to expose myself to more outside involvement/encouragement. I started this blog partly to be able to sound off about my feelings as I roll through life, but also as a means of documenting and sharing my weight loss experience. I posted the link to my Facebook profile, but I didn't announce it or anything, so it's probably not much known, I only know of one person who has looked at it. The question is, can I benefit from the scrutiny of throwing it more public, or is that TMI about me for most people, especially if I still fear repeated failure? I guess I don't have to decide today.
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