First, the positive, PROGRESS. I did start my commitment to healthier eating and limitations wholeheartedly a few days BEFORE New Year's Day. I planned this to avoid the big start day being so filled with pressure and such a sudden change, and I got the idea from another weight loss blog (a much more serious one!) called Roni's Weigh. Although I had a few times here and there where travel/holiday put me a tad over, it still had a positive starting effect. Combined with the 3 pounds I lost being sick, it helped me lose 2 more pounds for a total of 5, putting me back to my starting weight of 200! You could see that as depressing, but I see it as progress, because as I discussed previously, I am going to lose this weight 5 pounds at a time, and there's 5 down already! Plus, my "fat" clothes fit fine at this weight, but with 5 extra I was feeling and looking rather poorly. Also, the more days I have been logging food, the closer I am to having it become a true habit, and not something I am trying to make myself do.
Next, for a little bit of discussion on PITFALLS. My toughest time is hands down the week before my period. Some months are better than others, but my husband affectionately refers to this week as "shark week" (named after the one Discovery channel has on TV periodically) because my appetite can be so over the top. Earlier this year when I had some (temporary) weight loss success, I was able to do it like this: 3 weeks of earnest weight loss, 1 week of hang on and don't gain any back. Clearly this is going to continue to be a trend for me, because over the last two days I ate several extra things. Tuesday was a rough one. My trigger was a snowballing effect, as it turns out: not getting enough sleep, leading to not being as prepared to go to work in the morning, leading to not having any handy breakfast or lunch ready to go, leading to a stop at a grocery store first thing on an empty stomach, leading to buying foods I craved that are not chocolate, at least, but are not something I can apparently eat in small quantity! Baked cheddar and sour cream Ruffles (ate half the bag over the course of the day, even despite writing down the Weight Watchers Points for it each time,) and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal- a delicious sugar laden mess that I also ate half the box of over the course of the day. Small success, though, in that I walked up a ton of stairs at work (over 350!) in the afternoon, and then did a tough, 30 minute workout video in the eve. Then I felt good about watching the kickoff of Biggest Loser, although I fell asleep before finishing, but I was bummed for so many people not getting more than a week there! I did some crunches while I was watching at the beginning, too, after Jillian and Bob yelled at America not to sit there and watch while eating ice cream. That is what I used to do, but NOT THIS TIME!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
50 Reasons to Lose 50 Pounds (a repost with edits)
Here is a post I previously wrote where I listed for myself one very good reason for each of the 50 pounds I need to lose. That number has varied a little since I first wrote it, but it generally still applies. I want all 50 of them to go away for good and leave me with a healthy body and life! Hopefully posting them here will again remind me of what I have to gain by losing.
50. Because I still don't recognize myself when I catch a sideways glance in a full-length mirror. Even after years of a gradual increase in extra pounds needed to lose, it doesn't look like me wrapped up in that extra thick layer.
49. Because I have gotten myself back to my "starting" weight, and it only seems logical to continue downward.
48. Because I have a closet full of cute and nice clothes that I look at wistfully every time I get dressed, and every time I have to do laundry to have something to wear despite having a full closet. I really looked good in a lot of those clothes, and most of them aren't even as small as my goal weight size. It would so rock to shop for small clothes that looked good on me AND made me look good!
47. Because it feels SOOOO good to be self confident. My naturally shy personality struggles even more when I am self conscious about and tugging at my clothes to hide/adjust things.
46. Because I'm out of breath a lot lately with the way I've been eating and not exercising enough. It doesn't feel good.
45. Because stress is much better at eating away at me when my body and mind already don't feel good. Exercise=endorphins=happy and relaxed. This year I was a tense mess.
44. Because I actually ENJOY getting exercise and fresh air, when I'm not trapped by inertia!
43. Because I am way better at playing hockey when I'm lighter and faster.
42. So my hockey gear will return to fitting the way it's supposed to, instead of leaving big fleshy patches exposed to dangerous slapshots!
41. Because I'm spending 7,000 to fix my teeth with braces, and it would be stupid to have this great smile if I still feel like a heavy mess when they come off.
40. Because people are more confident in hiring someone for wedding planning and organization help if they appear to have themselves pulled together really well. I agree that someone who's not looking and feeling their best is not projecting the image of a valuable investment!
39. Because major health problems would be resolved such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
38. Because other minor aspects of my looks and health would be improved, such as eczema, acne, and allergies symptoms management.
37. Because I will be better able to function in high heat and humidity, which is a solid part of our summer environment here and at the beach.
36. Because it's easier to feel like losing a significant portion of your body weight is possible when "Biggest Loser" is in-season, for motivation. And it starts up AGAIN Jan. 6th. I'm not going to sit there for another season and watch the contestants drop below my weight without joining them!
35. Because my kid is 3 years old now, and I'm not planning on having any more. All feeble reasons for being overweight related to being a mom and having a baby are long gone. LONG gone!
34. Because each decade of life is a lot harder to lose weight in than the previous. I can't afford to let the rest of my thirties go by without taking advantage of that. It only gets harder.
33. Because it sucked to feel like a cow in a bathing suit all summer at the beach and pool. I'd love to enjoy myself more this year.
32. Because I have a great support network, just waiting to encourage me!
31. Because eating healthy foods is probably better for the environment on a lot of levels.
30. Because it's hard to take good family pictures when we're both unhappy with how we look. Adam will not be sure he even had parents at this age because the pictures are mostly only ever of him and other relatives/friends!
29. Because I don't have a lot of clothes I can even look decent in right now, and we can't afford to have me buy new fat clothes.
28. Because I have a lot of things coming up this year that I would enjoy a lot more if I looked and felt healthier.
27. Because if I go out with a bunch of girlfriends now, I'm usually the "fat" friend.
26. Because we're spending the money for a gym to further out workout opportunities.
25. Because eating oversized portions and extra junk food all the time is expensive!
24. Because being preoccupied with my weight is distracting.
23. Because I'd like to continue learning other active sports such as golf, and it seems like my big self is in the way when I try to swing properly.
22. Because I'm lucky enough to have a great life, and it would be stupid to waste it feeling gross and miserable.
21. Because good habits and major life changes take 21 DAYS to stick. That seems like a long time, so might as well get going. 21 days from today puts me at January 21. Since time flies most of the time anyway, can't I just suck it up and be good for that long?
20. Because I'm less than a year away from my 20th High School reunion. It is in October!!!Thanks to Facebook, I'm actually getting back in touch with a lot of these people, and it would be a royal suck to be heavy and uncomfortable for something like that. I am too shy not to look and feel great!
19. Because I will be a better wife/mother/daughter/friend if I am happier, healthier, more energetic, and as a result have my life in order and my head on straight.
18. Because I can hear Jillian's voice in my head if I try hard enough. How can I fail?
17. Because I'm lucky enough to have a fantastic figure under all the layers. I've got great legs, a generous rack, a good butt, pretty eyes, and nice overall proportions, just waiting to be uncovered. Not everybody does who is healthy and in good shape, and I shouldn't waste the gift/opportunity!
16. Because I always find inspiration in the success of others, but wouldn't it be great to actually use that inspiration to succeed, and go on to motivate someone else?
15. Because it stokes my ego to be noticed. :)
14. Because jogging is cheaper than therapy!
13. Because I am in a vicious cycle of staying up 'til midnight avoiding all the things I don't feel like doing, and then being tired all the time.
12. Because I will sleep better and wake up feeling refreshed. When my body is tired from exercise, I sleep great. When it is drained from being stressed and anxious, lethargic, and filled with unhealthy food, no sleep seems to be enough AND I avoid sleep to do slack things as an escape.
11. To be comfortable TURNING 40 in March 2011. I know, it's kind of a long way off, but for some reason I am already anticipating it. I can only do this gracefully if I feel I am looking and feeling awesome!
10. To be able to celebrate achievements in my life (and re-capture my youth?) when I turn 40 (see above) by decorating my body with a tattoo and/or a piercing. No chance I'm doing that unless I look fantastic!
9. To be able to take a trip to Vegas and have some fun dressing like I belong there. ;)
8. To be able to return to great physical challenges such as triathlons. I would like to do multiple races where I actually compete on some level rather than simply survive!
7. To live a more active life all around.
6. To be able to help motivate my sweetie, who is in the same boat as me. We are too nice to each other and end up being enablers.
5. To be better equipped to handle life's hurdles, physical and emotional, because there will always be more.
4. To have more energy to enjoy the time I have with my family and friends, while still being able to DO IT ALL. I want to be one of those people who CAN, that I am currently jealous of.
3. To set a good example, provide a healthy living environment, and foster good habits for my son to grow up with.
2. To live a long life and to be there for my son throughout his life.
1. Because I am worth it!! Say it again with me for yourself, too, I AM WORTH IT!
50. Because I still don't recognize myself when I catch a sideways glance in a full-length mirror. Even after years of a gradual increase in extra pounds needed to lose, it doesn't look like me wrapped up in that extra thick layer.
49. Because I have gotten myself back to my "starting" weight, and it only seems logical to continue downward.
48. Because I have a closet full of cute and nice clothes that I look at wistfully every time I get dressed, and every time I have to do laundry to have something to wear despite having a full closet. I really looked good in a lot of those clothes, and most of them aren't even as small as my goal weight size. It would so rock to shop for small clothes that looked good on me AND made me look good!
47. Because it feels SOOOO good to be self confident. My naturally shy personality struggles even more when I am self conscious about and tugging at my clothes to hide/adjust things.
46. Because I'm out of breath a lot lately with the way I've been eating and not exercising enough. It doesn't feel good.
45. Because stress is much better at eating away at me when my body and mind already don't feel good. Exercise=endorphins=happy and relaxed. This year I was a tense mess.
44. Because I actually ENJOY getting exercise and fresh air, when I'm not trapped by inertia!
43. Because I am way better at playing hockey when I'm lighter and faster.
42. So my hockey gear will return to fitting the way it's supposed to, instead of leaving big fleshy patches exposed to dangerous slapshots!
41. Because I'm spending 7,000 to fix my teeth with braces, and it would be stupid to have this great smile if I still feel like a heavy mess when they come off.
40. Because people are more confident in hiring someone for wedding planning and organization help if they appear to have themselves pulled together really well. I agree that someone who's not looking and feeling their best is not projecting the image of a valuable investment!
39. Because major health problems would be resolved such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
38. Because other minor aspects of my looks and health would be improved, such as eczema, acne, and allergies symptoms management.
37. Because I will be better able to function in high heat and humidity, which is a solid part of our summer environment here and at the beach.
36. Because it's easier to feel like losing a significant portion of your body weight is possible when "Biggest Loser" is in-season, for motivation. And it starts up AGAIN Jan. 6th. I'm not going to sit there for another season and watch the contestants drop below my weight without joining them!
35. Because my kid is 3 years old now, and I'm not planning on having any more. All feeble reasons for being overweight related to being a mom and having a baby are long gone. LONG gone!
34. Because each decade of life is a lot harder to lose weight in than the previous. I can't afford to let the rest of my thirties go by without taking advantage of that. It only gets harder.
33. Because it sucked to feel like a cow in a bathing suit all summer at the beach and pool. I'd love to enjoy myself more this year.
32. Because I have a great support network, just waiting to encourage me!
31. Because eating healthy foods is probably better for the environment on a lot of levels.
30. Because it's hard to take good family pictures when we're both unhappy with how we look. Adam will not be sure he even had parents at this age because the pictures are mostly only ever of him and other relatives/friends!
29. Because I don't have a lot of clothes I can even look decent in right now, and we can't afford to have me buy new fat clothes.
28. Because I have a lot of things coming up this year that I would enjoy a lot more if I looked and felt healthier.
27. Because if I go out with a bunch of girlfriends now, I'm usually the "fat" friend.
26. Because we're spending the money for a gym to further out workout opportunities.
25. Because eating oversized portions and extra junk food all the time is expensive!
24. Because being preoccupied with my weight is distracting.
23. Because I'd like to continue learning other active sports such as golf, and it seems like my big self is in the way when I try to swing properly.
22. Because I'm lucky enough to have a great life, and it would be stupid to waste it feeling gross and miserable.
21. Because good habits and major life changes take 21 DAYS to stick. That seems like a long time, so might as well get going. 21 days from today puts me at January 21. Since time flies most of the time anyway, can't I just suck it up and be good for that long?
20. Because I'm less than a year away from my 20th High School reunion. It is in October!!!Thanks to Facebook, I'm actually getting back in touch with a lot of these people, and it would be a royal suck to be heavy and uncomfortable for something like that. I am too shy not to look and feel great!
19. Because I will be a better wife/mother/daughter/friend if I am happier, healthier, more energetic, and as a result have my life in order and my head on straight.
18. Because I can hear Jillian's voice in my head if I try hard enough. How can I fail?
17. Because I'm lucky enough to have a fantastic figure under all the layers. I've got great legs, a generous rack, a good butt, pretty eyes, and nice overall proportions, just waiting to be uncovered. Not everybody does who is healthy and in good shape, and I shouldn't waste the gift/opportunity!
16. Because I always find inspiration in the success of others, but wouldn't it be great to actually use that inspiration to succeed, and go on to motivate someone else?
15. Because it stokes my ego to be noticed. :)
14. Because jogging is cheaper than therapy!
13. Because I am in a vicious cycle of staying up 'til midnight avoiding all the things I don't feel like doing, and then being tired all the time.
12. Because I will sleep better and wake up feeling refreshed. When my body is tired from exercise, I sleep great. When it is drained from being stressed and anxious, lethargic, and filled with unhealthy food, no sleep seems to be enough AND I avoid sleep to do slack things as an escape.
11. To be comfortable TURNING 40 in March 2011. I know, it's kind of a long way off, but for some reason I am already anticipating it. I can only do this gracefully if I feel I am looking and feeling awesome!
10. To be able to celebrate achievements in my life (and re-capture my youth?) when I turn 40 (see above) by decorating my body with a tattoo and/or a piercing. No chance I'm doing that unless I look fantastic!
9. To be able to take a trip to Vegas and have some fun dressing like I belong there. ;)
8. To be able to return to great physical challenges such as triathlons. I would like to do multiple races where I actually compete on some level rather than simply survive!
7. To live a more active life all around.
6. To be able to help motivate my sweetie, who is in the same boat as me. We are too nice to each other and end up being enablers.
5. To be better equipped to handle life's hurdles, physical and emotional, because there will always be more.
4. To have more energy to enjoy the time I have with my family and friends, while still being able to DO IT ALL. I want to be one of those people who CAN, that I am currently jealous of.
3. To set a good example, provide a healthy living environment, and foster good habits for my son to grow up with.
2. To live a long life and to be there for my son throughout his life.
1. Because I am worth it!! Say it again with me for yourself, too, I AM WORTH IT!
2009 is Going to be a Great Year!
It has only been 2009 for about 24 hours now, but I am already filled with a sense of optimism that this really is the year that I will succeed in changing my life. Being a better me starts today, and starts again every day from now on. I am blessed with a wonderfully happy life, but I feel 2008 was by far filled with more challenges than I was comfortable with. Happily, it appears that the toughest stuff is behind me for now.
For the last couple of weeks, I have been laying the groundwork for myself, mentally, to tackle the one thing that truly outwardly indicates as well as affects how my life is going, and governs my overall health in many ways. This year, I vow to take better care of myself and put myself first, if not always (impossible for a mom,) at least way more often. I am determined to no longer allow a significant amount of extra weight tax my self esteem, raise my cholesterol and blood pressure, and keep me feeling tired. I have begun to ease back into the things it will take to make this change, such as improved eating and increased exercise, and the diligent monitoring and documenting of both. I have thought through my strategies, evaluated my goals, prepared my home, and announced my intentions to those I will need to lean on to support me if I am wavering. I have stopped eating as a reaction to stress, at least for a few days now, and I hope to persevere with this long enough to break the fully ingrained habit it had become. I am also going to re-read and re-post (probably with some slight revision) my reasons for and the importance of doing this, so I won't lose sight of the importance of myself, my life, and my health and happiness. I can do this!!
For the last couple of weeks, I have been laying the groundwork for myself, mentally, to tackle the one thing that truly outwardly indicates as well as affects how my life is going, and governs my overall health in many ways. This year, I vow to take better care of myself and put myself first, if not always (impossible for a mom,) at least way more often. I am determined to no longer allow a significant amount of extra weight tax my self esteem, raise my cholesterol and blood pressure, and keep me feeling tired. I have begun to ease back into the things it will take to make this change, such as improved eating and increased exercise, and the diligent monitoring and documenting of both. I have thought through my strategies, evaluated my goals, prepared my home, and announced my intentions to those I will need to lean on to support me if I am wavering. I have stopped eating as a reaction to stress, at least for a few days now, and I hope to persevere with this long enough to break the fully ingrained habit it had become. I am also going to re-read and re-post (probably with some slight revision) my reasons for and the importance of doing this, so I won't lose sight of the importance of myself, my life, and my health and happiness. I can do this!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Great Food Purge
And no, I'm not talking about the stomach flu that ripped around our house in the days before and after Christmas! I started this post on Dec. 28, but I wanted to finish the thought before I move on to the New Year topics on my mind. After everyone in my house was finally feeling better last week, I was left itchy to get a head start on my fresh start. In preparation for a year of establishing healthier eating habits for myself, I decided it would be best if I went through all of the food to clear out, inventory, etc. It was an amazingly cleansing and refreshing process! My kitchen is tiny and I do not have a pantry, so our food storage has always been a frustrating Jenga-style system of stacking and stuffing food into a couple of cabinets with limited airspace remaining. This makes it very difficult to find anything, no matter how carefully it is stacked and organized. So, when I go to shop for or use food, things I have in stock often either get missed or forgotten, which aggravates the problem because then I am likely to buy them again.
I try to go through our food supply on a regular basis, or so I thought, but usually it is more for the purpose of reorganizing it rather than purging it. Likewise, the fridge and freezer get cleaned out periodically, too, but this time it had been a while and was for a more purposeful mission.
Bottom line, I ended up throwing out about half of our food. And before anyone goes feeling badly about such waste, I would never throw away any food that was good enough to be donated to someone needy. So, ??? HALF OF MY FOOD WAS SO OLD IT WAS EXPIRED, most for half a year or more!! Sounds crazy, right, because dry foods and cans tend to last for a REEEEALLY long time. But yes, apparently I had gradually been buying so much extra stuff that wasn't all getting used or remembered for so long, that it was past its date. Pasta, boxes of cereal, canned food, all kinds of stuff was done for. So, after throwing out several trash bags worth of frozen, dry, and canned outdated food, I felt a huge uplifting! I am beyond happy with the results. My cabinets are much more open now, and I can see the food I have and even get to it without draining the cabinet! I also made sure that the stuff which remains is healthy stuff, and I feel like it will be so much easier now to plan nutritious and light meals and snacks without buying extra stuff I don't need. Which considering we need to save money is also hugely beneficial. Definitely an important step for kicking off a healthier meal program- you should try it!
I try to go through our food supply on a regular basis, or so I thought, but usually it is more for the purpose of reorganizing it rather than purging it. Likewise, the fridge and freezer get cleaned out periodically, too, but this time it had been a while and was for a more purposeful mission.
Bottom line, I ended up throwing out about half of our food. And before anyone goes feeling badly about such waste, I would never throw away any food that was good enough to be donated to someone needy. So, ??? HALF OF MY FOOD WAS SO OLD IT WAS EXPIRED, most for half a year or more!! Sounds crazy, right, because dry foods and cans tend to last for a REEEEALLY long time. But yes, apparently I had gradually been buying so much extra stuff that wasn't all getting used or remembered for so long, that it was past its date. Pasta, boxes of cereal, canned food, all kinds of stuff was done for. So, after throwing out several trash bags worth of frozen, dry, and canned outdated food, I felt a huge uplifting! I am beyond happy with the results. My cabinets are much more open now, and I can see the food I have and even get to it without draining the cabinet! I also made sure that the stuff which remains is healthy stuff, and I feel like it will be so much easier now to plan nutritious and light meals and snacks without buying extra stuff I don't need. Which considering we need to save money is also hugely beneficial. Definitely an important step for kicking off a healthier meal program- you should try it!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Strategy: Focus on the 5's
Ok, so, I am starting to write up my goals for weight loss in 2009, and one thing I have learned from a lot of reading (and some TV) on the subject is that the only way to make a big goal seem less daunting is to break it up much smaller. I've often done that in the past, but I definitely didn't go about it the right way. Previously I have always had very rigid goals for myself of a certain number of pounds lost per week, and then I have added them up to make goal weights corresponding to certain events that fall within that timeline. And by having had it so strictly laid out like that, I think I was setting my all-or-nothing self up for failure. Never did I make one of those exact event goals, by the way, and rarely did I keep up with the "plan" for more than a few weeks. And I'm talking about years and years of making plans to lose weight this way and not succeeding!
This time, I am going to break it up into 5 pound increments. Period. I will always be focused on the single goal of 5 pounds, and when I achieve it and celebrate it, I will again adopt a goal of 5 more pounds. Losing 5 pounds is no cake walk, but it certainly seems doable to me. There may be weeks where it is easier to make progress, and other weeks where the body is PMS bloating and makes none, but I think a nice, round goal of 5 pounds in a month's time is perfectly achievable without killing myself. I will weigh in and record my progress weekly, but will try to focus on the big picture achievements monthly, to allow for those fluctuations without getting discouraged. It may get harder to lose 5 pounds in a month as I do well and my weight gets lower, but if that becomes the case I can always adjust accordingly and slow the rate.
So, all I need to do is lose 5 pounds a bunch of times, specifically between 11-13 times! (My primary goal is to get to 150 pounds, but depending on my physique at that weight, 140 is a really trim but still perfectly healthy weight for my height and build, so I may try for that upon re-assessment...) However, if I can keep up the tunnel vision and only focus on each five pounds individually, I think I can avoid being overwhelmed about how far I have to go, and also avoid becoming too complacent about how far I have come as I succeed. Last time I really tried in earnest I lost the first 10 pounds easily, and then I felt so good I got overconfident. Once some family eating celebrations came up I easily fell off the wagon, and stayed off. That was about 8 months ago, and look where I've been since- I rapidly put it back on +5!
Yes, if I add up my hopeful rate of monthly progress, there is one very large milestone I'd like to be doing well for, and that is my 20-year High School Reunion in October. If I did well with 5 pounds a month I might hope to be approximately 50 pounds lighter, or most of my way to goal by then. HOWEVER, I am NOT going to set myself up like that this time around! Frankly, if I've lost 10-15 pounds by then I'd still look a lot better and have an easier time finding something to wear. But as I said above, and as I am going to keep saying to myself, over and over, as many times as it takes, I am going to look at one month at a time, and I am going to work on losing 5 pounds at a time, only.
So, for these last 2 weeks of 2008 (including Christmas and New Years Eve,) I am going to be recording what I eat, practicing making better choices, working on breaking bad habits, and beginning to add workouts back into my schedule. That way, the beginning of January won't have that huge, looming, start from scratch, cold turkey, all or nothing feeling to it. Much less scary that way. :)
This time, I am going to break it up into 5 pound increments. Period. I will always be focused on the single goal of 5 pounds, and when I achieve it and celebrate it, I will again adopt a goal of 5 more pounds. Losing 5 pounds is no cake walk, but it certainly seems doable to me. There may be weeks where it is easier to make progress, and other weeks where the body is PMS bloating and makes none, but I think a nice, round goal of 5 pounds in a month's time is perfectly achievable without killing myself. I will weigh in and record my progress weekly, but will try to focus on the big picture achievements monthly, to allow for those fluctuations without getting discouraged. It may get harder to lose 5 pounds in a month as I do well and my weight gets lower, but if that becomes the case I can always adjust accordingly and slow the rate.
So, all I need to do is lose 5 pounds a bunch of times, specifically between 11-13 times! (My primary goal is to get to 150 pounds, but depending on my physique at that weight, 140 is a really trim but still perfectly healthy weight for my height and build, so I may try for that upon re-assessment...) However, if I can keep up the tunnel vision and only focus on each five pounds individually, I think I can avoid being overwhelmed about how far I have to go, and also avoid becoming too complacent about how far I have come as I succeed. Last time I really tried in earnest I lost the first 10 pounds easily, and then I felt so good I got overconfident. Once some family eating celebrations came up I easily fell off the wagon, and stayed off. That was about 8 months ago, and look where I've been since- I rapidly put it back on +5!
Yes, if I add up my hopeful rate of monthly progress, there is one very large milestone I'd like to be doing well for, and that is my 20-year High School Reunion in October. If I did well with 5 pounds a month I might hope to be approximately 50 pounds lighter, or most of my way to goal by then. HOWEVER, I am NOT going to set myself up like that this time around! Frankly, if I've lost 10-15 pounds by then I'd still look a lot better and have an easier time finding something to wear. But as I said above, and as I am going to keep saying to myself, over and over, as many times as it takes, I am going to look at one month at a time, and I am going to work on losing 5 pounds at a time, only.
So, for these last 2 weeks of 2008 (including Christmas and New Years Eve,) I am going to be recording what I eat, practicing making better choices, working on breaking bad habits, and beginning to add workouts back into my schedule. That way, the beginning of January won't have that huge, looming, start from scratch, cold turkey, all or nothing feeling to it. Much less scary that way. :)
Thoughts for the Week of Christmas
My husband and I are very excited to share Christmas with our three year old son this year, because he really understands Christmas now, unlike before. Not the religious part yet (I've been slack about getting him/us to church still,) but definitely the Santa and presents part. I am soo looking forward to seeing him light up when he gets what he asked Santa for, as well as a bunch of other stuff I hope he'll like. Actually, I know he'll like it all, I just hope it's not too much all at once such that he'll be over it. I tried not to spend too much $ in light of the finances still being dicey, but it ended up being a lot of stuff, anyway! :)
Generally speaking the Christmas season is a wonderful time of year, but as holidays go, Christmas is one that has always had a little too much riding on it emotionally, in my opinion. I greatly appreciate that the month with the shortest, darkest days are filled with bright, twinkly lights and happy music, but it certainly has its flaws. For most people, Christmas as we know it causes so much to do and so much pressure to get the right gifts for the right people without going broke, that the point of good happy times with friends and family can get lost pretty easily. I took it a little easier this season, not getting as much done as soon, but I've felt more relaxed in the process. Which was intentional considering I work full time now. Saturday was the only "tough" chores day, and even that was ok- I waited in line for over an hour to mail packages that took a long time to assemble and wrap, after a late night and long morning finishing the Christmas cards, but everyone was cheerful and chatty in the line and I'm thrilled with how the cards turned out, so it wasn't unpleasant. It's just weird to have that much buildup for a holiday, I guess. I've always felt there was a bit of an awkward "now what?" moment after everyone opens all of the presents. Christmas will certainly be a monster highlight for my sweet boy, but my personal favorite has always been Thanksgiving, and this year Halloween moved way up the list, too!
Looking at the bigger picture beyond this week, I shall return to the broken record issue of health, fitness, and weight loss. I continue to mull over my plans to change my life in the new year, and although I may not find any participants for a Biggest Loser Challenge as I had hoped, I will put it out here for all to see/cheer me on/learn from me if I am successful/counsel me if I am struggling. 2009 is filled with potential and an opportunity for new beginning, and I am continually reminded in so many different ways of how much better I will feel, thereby improving my whole life, if I just take better care of myself. This week I work Monday and most of Tuesday, will enjoy the holiday Wednesday and Thursday, and by Friday I hope to spend some more time hatching the details of my plan and begin implementation in earnest. Basically it will just be an aggressive workout schedule, back to strict adherence to the Weight Watchers eating plan that has worked VERY WELL for me previously when I stick to it, and a structured schedule of weigh-ins, goals, incentives, and strategies. I'm armed with everything I need, and I think my head is/will be in the right place. Merry Christmas, and stay tuned as I may recap/re-post some of my motivational stuff for myself before kicking it off!
(One other nugget- I am going to take a one-time sample pole dancing class next month, and may proceed with the classes on a regular basis if I like it. A pretty weird recreational activity, one might think, but I suspect it will be a unique combination of fun dance, fitness, better awareness of and attention to one's body, and of course a freeing fantasy experience without actually having to rip one's clothes off in public. I'll be sure to tell all, but I'm pretty confident I will love it after hearing my friend talk all about it. She got started earlier this year, and has gotten so serious they're hiring HER as a teacher now, too!)
Generally speaking the Christmas season is a wonderful time of year, but as holidays go, Christmas is one that has always had a little too much riding on it emotionally, in my opinion. I greatly appreciate that the month with the shortest, darkest days are filled with bright, twinkly lights and happy music, but it certainly has its flaws. For most people, Christmas as we know it causes so much to do and so much pressure to get the right gifts for the right people without going broke, that the point of good happy times with friends and family can get lost pretty easily. I took it a little easier this season, not getting as much done as soon, but I've felt more relaxed in the process. Which was intentional considering I work full time now. Saturday was the only "tough" chores day, and even that was ok- I waited in line for over an hour to mail packages that took a long time to assemble and wrap, after a late night and long morning finishing the Christmas cards, but everyone was cheerful and chatty in the line and I'm thrilled with how the cards turned out, so it wasn't unpleasant. It's just weird to have that much buildup for a holiday, I guess. I've always felt there was a bit of an awkward "now what?" moment after everyone opens all of the presents. Christmas will certainly be a monster highlight for my sweet boy, but my personal favorite has always been Thanksgiving, and this year Halloween moved way up the list, too!
Looking at the bigger picture beyond this week, I shall return to the broken record issue of health, fitness, and weight loss. I continue to mull over my plans to change my life in the new year, and although I may not find any participants for a Biggest Loser Challenge as I had hoped, I will put it out here for all to see/cheer me on/learn from me if I am successful/counsel me if I am struggling. 2009 is filled with potential and an opportunity for new beginning, and I am continually reminded in so many different ways of how much better I will feel, thereby improving my whole life, if I just take better care of myself. This week I work Monday and most of Tuesday, will enjoy the holiday Wednesday and Thursday, and by Friday I hope to spend some more time hatching the details of my plan and begin implementation in earnest. Basically it will just be an aggressive workout schedule, back to strict adherence to the Weight Watchers eating plan that has worked VERY WELL for me previously when I stick to it, and a structured schedule of weigh-ins, goals, incentives, and strategies. I'm armed with everything I need, and I think my head is/will be in the right place. Merry Christmas, and stay tuned as I may recap/re-post some of my motivational stuff for myself before kicking it off!
(One other nugget- I am going to take a one-time sample pole dancing class next month, and may proceed with the classes on a regular basis if I like it. A pretty weird recreational activity, one might think, but I suspect it will be a unique combination of fun dance, fitness, better awareness of and attention to one's body, and of course a freeing fantasy experience without actually having to rip one's clothes off in public. I'll be sure to tell all, but I'm pretty confident I will love it after hearing my friend talk all about it. She got started earlier this year, and has gotten so serious they're hiring HER as a teacher now, too!)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Biggest Loser Inspiration
Every season of the Biggest Loser since I started watching it, I've thought "I'm going to do it with them this time." But, the time in my life wasn't right yet, and before I knew it these big fat people were weighing in at less than me, and the show wasn't even close to over yet. Michelle looked awesome Tuesday night, and I had a feeling she would be able to win it even before seeing her. But, after seeing even the people who I didn't think could do it do well (Heba and Jerry were the ones who struck me as least likely to lose enough weight to change their lives,) I am again realizing I can do it too. And THIS time, I think I have been taking the steps to have it be the RIGHT time in my life, and getting the holiday temptations out of the way will coincide exactly with the kickoff of the NEXT season of BL, which already starts on Jan. 6, much to my delight. I am going to do some planning this weekend, and I am going to hatch a challenge to make my own Biggest Loser contest with some people I know. I know two certain contestants to do it with me, and I hope to think of some others. I'm talking the works, food and exercise logs, contests, milestones, percentage weight loss goals and check-ins, etc. My "original, realistic" goal is now up to 55 pounds, or 27% of my current body weight (crept up from the nice, round 50 lbs/25% since I've gained a little more), but if I was going to go really hard core, I've been reading that an even lower goal of 140 pounds is apparently still healthy with a decent sized 5'8" frame, putting my goal at 65 pounds or 32% of my body weight. Whoa, a third of myself?! Seems outrageously unattainable. But, the people on this show consistently lose as much as half of themselves, and the whole point of the show, season after season, is to assure America that we can do it, too. Although it seems like it would be so much easier to be successful if one could actually get ON the show, I am quite grateful that I am not to the point where I would be recruited on the show, so I will count my blessings there. (If you know anyone who is big enough, apparently they are casting for Season 8 now...) Look out for the CBL (Cathy's Biggest Loser) Challenge, coming soon!
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