Running is Relative

Today I went for what I'd hoped would be a run.  I'm using the app "RunKeeper" on my iPhone, and it keeps track via GPS of where/how far you've gone, time, pace, topography, etc., it's awesome.  I've run or walked (or a combo) 5 times since March 26.  A slow start, but already far more than I worked out all winter.

The problem is, my body is not up to speed, and it's so hard to be patient with it.  My plan was to run today, but it was a slow, hobbling walk with super tight ankles.  I trudged uphill, and threw in a slow shuffling jog on the downhill here and there.  I've had this kind of chronic ankle tightness before, and the only fix was to work through it gradually and improve my fitness, but unfortunately I tend to be as impatient as I am inconsistent.  I only went 2.7 miles is 42 and a half minutes.  Ouch.

Run from the Chocolate Madness

It gives me subtle comfort, with great ease and no exertion.  It soothes my grated nerves and anxious psyche, if only for a few minutes at a time.  The taste is exquisite, the texture creamy, leaving my tongue feeling velvety just for a moment.  The sum of these sweet sensations is nagging, leaving me wanting more like a seedling leaning in search of the sun.  Yet this seduction by my cocoa mistress is a dark and destructive one.  It shields me from the challenges of fully experiencing emotion, protects me from living fully, hides me from having a real presence in the room unless I choose to.  Slowly it settles its excesses onto my body, weighing it down, lessening its efficiency, robbing it of vigor.  Clearly the brief reward does not justify this level of self-sabotage.  Surely there are other ways to seek sensory satisfaction, to direct excess energies, to heal longing, to indulge, without such collateral damage.  

I need to run from this demon, run from the negativity and the angst that fuels it, run until my blood pumps harder and my lungs gasp for air.  I want to run ‘til until my muscles cry out in a mixture of pain and delight, run until the endorphins surge, run until all traces of destruction are corrected.  Run until the smile can’t be wiped off my face.  Run until I’m proud, run until I’m healthy; run until I collapse into a peaceful slumber.  Run to inner peace.

Vows Renewal

A week from Monday my husband and I are renewing our vows in Las Vegas. We're making it cheesy and fun, but on some level there is a seriousness to it. We have been happily married for 11 years, but this is essentially an agreement to get married all over again.

And it got me to thinking. Our marriage is solid, this is just a fun way to celebrate that. It's my relationship with myself that could use a little work. Maybe it's getting to be time to reexamine my goals, refresh my outlook on what is important to me, and renew my vows to start taking better care of myself and my body.

Yes, You Can.

But in this case, you probably shouldn't.  (Unless you are a little bit more ready than I was.)  You can do nearly anything you set your mind to, and this past weekend, despite not having run probably even one time all winter, and also despite never having run longer than about 3.5 miles ever, I ran in a 5 mile race.  And hardly walked at all.  And finished.  And didn't die.  And liked it.  A lot.

But I paid like hell for it later.  Running 5 miles is no joke.  It's longer than I've ever run before, a distance that's longer enough than 5K (which is 3.2 miles) to sound more daunting.  But I had to do it, for a number of reasons.  One, I intended to run in a marathon this spring, which I decided on and registered for before well before we decided to sell our house and move, which caused me to basically abandon doing anything healthy for myself all winter.  Even when I knew I didn't have enough time left to train for the marathon, I cut it down to the 10 mile option, but then we were in the midst of the move and I still didn't run.  This would at least give me a chance to kick my own ass into gear and recapture the fitness bug.  The second reason I couldn't help myself?  It was right in our neighborhood!  The start/finish was a short, easy walk from my house, and the #3 mile marker was practically in front of my house.  Luckily I didn't choose to bail at that point and stop, but it certainly was an option.

Repercussions of my quasi-success?  One, I could barely walk for the next two days.  Two, I finally got sick of being in the "back of the pack".  This is by no means the first time I've entered a fitness event from a position of being undertrained, and I have a history of BOP finishes.  It finally got to me this time, I'm finally over it.  I'm desperate now to find a way to return to some kind of a regular workout regime, and to be much better prepared for my next events.  Because since I sure do love 'em, I might as well do better!

Thought Soup

As I tend to use that title with some frequency, I should probably make it a more regular feature.  Basically it’s when I have a whole bunch of crap to talk about, and I mash it all into one, long post. 

On Our New House

We’ve finally moved!  We sold our older, serviceable and fairly cute but way, WAY too small for us townhouse and moved into a dreamy, nicer, newer, way, WAY bigger, doesn’t-feel-like-a-townhouse townhouse in the very same neighborhood we so dearly love.  Still having so much to unpack sucks royally, but we are on our own schedule for it now and are free from the vast majority of the stress that had enveloped us throughout the moving process.  My 5 year old son keeps telling me how much he loves it, and occasionally my husband and I pinch ourselves in disbelief and wonder how we got so lucky.  

Oh, and have you heard?  I live in a spa resort.  At least, it feels like I do.  Our new place is super quiet, it is nice and large, it is all tricked out with nifty upgraded features that make us feel spoiled, we have a huge, comfy new king-sized bed, and did I mention how quiet it is?  Ahhhhh…

On being a “Pole Master”

This is one of the most fun things I have ever accomplished, hands down.  After a couple of years and an injury stop-restart, I completed 6 levels of pole dance instruction and spent 8 more weeks prepping to put on a graduation show.  What a freaking blast!  The music is great, the ladies are even better, and it’s still the very best workout I have ever had.  So much more I want to continue to do and learn with it, and I can’t wait to get another chance to perform.  I loved it, and I loved getting to show off to my friends, family, and even total strangers!

On Having Hawaii-Bound Friends

Exiting my life are two of my best friends and their two kids, who are some of my kid’s best friends.  I am so, so happy and excited for them, yet so so SO terribly sad to lose our proximity to them.  It is hard to find people in life that you have so much in common with, are so compatible with, have kids your kids’ age, have been in your life for a bunch of years, and that also happen to live just a few seconds down the road, but we were lucky enough to have had that with them, for a good while now.  Now they are embarking on their own fantasy life’s adventure by up and moving to Hawaii.  Who could blame them?  I can’t wait to hear about their adventures.

On the Fitness Horizon

The marathon I signed up for before we decided to sell our house and move over the winter didn’t happen.  The 10 miler I cut it down to when I knew the marathon was out of the question isn’t going to happen, it being in 11 days.  I am going to enter a 5 miler in my neighborhood this Saturday, which is going to kick off my return to fitness, but which is also going to HURT.

After that, Sprint Tri in my backyard, the same one I’ve done the last two years, except this time I will do it in both June and August.  And then in September, my boss, who is in the process of kicking breast cancer’s ass, has asked me to do a 3-Day (60 mile) fundraising walk with her, and I was honored so I accepted.  (Marathon Plan 2.0 will be for next year…)

On What’s Next?

VEGAS, BABY!!  Mid-April.  Suite with a view of the strip, pool weather, The Little White Wedding Chapel, dear friends, swanky food, and a crapload of fun.  ‘Nuf said.

I'm 40!!

I've done it, I've turned 40 and I didn't implode.  I did it in style, too, within the course of a week we closed on our house sale and purchase, moved, had the birthday, then had my graduation "poleformance" attended by friends and family.  I'd say that's a pretty successful and fun way to start a new decade.

The funny thing is, I freaked out for about a year and a half about turning 40, and the morning of my birthday (which is the very same as the FABULOUS Dr. Seuss, I might add) as I was driving to work, I realized that it was just another day.  A simple but significant epiphany.  So, just like that, for now, the mid life crisis has been thwarted.

HOWEVER, this blog still lives on because I still have a lot going on, a lot to talk about, and a lot more to accomplish...

Underwear is Fun to Wear!

So, today I participated in the "Cupid's Undies Run" in DC.  It's a charity benefit, and as evident in the title, people run a little over a mile in mostly only their underwear.  In public.  In February.

So, picture hanging out in a bar with 500 people you mostly don't know, about equally men and women, all decked out in the scantiest, wackiest and/or most attention-getting garb they could come up with.  There were tons of women in pink, red, and heart laden undies, some even with wings.  There were boys with body hugging superhero underwear, hearts carved into their chest hair, etc.  It was awesome.  And to be honest, with that many people standing around in their underwear, it didn't feel nearly as awkward as I expected to take off my pants, put them in a bag, and give them to the coat check guy.  Even though the bar was stuffed with underwear clad people wall-to-wall, at times having to push past each other, it was all cool.

I was there with a team of ladies from the DivaFit studio, and we all wore pink feather boas to supplement our Divalicious wardrobes.  It was sunny but still fairly winter-breezy out, and I had on knee high socks, and another pair that I cut the feet out of as arm warmers.

The short run took us by the Supreme Court and the Capitol, with loads of spectators along the way, and it was an exercise in fun, taking pictures, laughing at ourselves and other people, and major camaraderie.  When it was time to reclaim our stuff and put pants back on after having them off for a couple of hours, THAT almost felt weird.  I think my husband thought I was completely out of my mind for doing this, but I couldn't be more pleased with the experience!  We're already plotting next year's team attire...