...So it's really time for me to get back on the horse. I fell away for a bit, to rest, regroup, and recover. What from? Well, my life, I guess. The timing of my checking out electronically coincided with my 4th of 4 spring weddings, but it was probably a lot more than that. I had 4 brides in May and June get hitched without a hitch, and I felt quite successful with all of them. Each wedding under the belt made me feel progressively more experienced and confident for the next one, too, which is great. Especially since I feel like my fees were a little low for the level of time and effort involved, so now I'll feel like I can justify a less rookie price structure for the next season. I think the weirdest phenomenon from the weddings was that at 3 of the 4 receptions, people took my bathroom guest supplies as personal party favors to keep, and instead of using the items provided for all to benefit from, took them home. The only one that even made a tiny bit of sense was the one held at a hotel, because they are known for free toiletries, but the other ones were just reflective of a modern, selfish society, I guess. The non-stealing crowd was a tad more civilized. The restocking cost alone is justification to jack my rates a little!
Shortly after that last wedding, I fell into a "work hard at work, come home and be with the family, and crash like a rock right after small boy goes to bed" routine for a couple of days. I felt a deep tiredness, mentally and physically. (I missed most of the Stanley Cup finals, too, but the last game was at least an exciting and well matched finish.) I think I went to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 for three days in a row, followed by coming down with being sick. I'm slowly on the mend now. I could feel it coming, because over the years I've grown to be able to tell when I am at maximum capacity, and that was definitely it.
In the meantime, I realized that I had been wandering pretty far off topic at times on this blog, and my posts had become rather cyclical. Want to do well, fresh start, fall off, talk about other things. Get up, want to do well, fresh start, etc. Except that they probably sounded pretty disingenuous because the fresh starts rarely lasted more than a couple of days, followed by a couple of weeks of wallowing in the "I'm stressed and I feel out of control of my eating" mode. Worse yet, I was frequently identifying ways to improve and help myself forward, but I'd write about them and not do them at all. Not very motivational if you're reading this for weight loss motivation! If you're reading about it just to learn more about me and how I think, then cool, I hope I haven't disappointed.
The funny thing is, despite not having posted any blog entries, Facebook updates, or much else for a couple of weeks, I still found myself thinking that way a lot of the time. On walks/runs I usually do a lot of thinking, and lately it seems to take the form of a blog-like narrative in my head. Likewise, numerous times during or after doing something enjoyable or noticing something interesting, I find myself composing a status update appropriate to the situation in my head. Technology really does shape the way we live I guess!
Over the next three weeks, I believe will have some opportunity for reflection and hopefully some personal improvement. The next two weekends will be spent coming and going from the beach, and will afford me half a week with the responsibility of caring for a small boy being in someone else's hands. Culminating in a long family-centric weekend over the 4th of July, the height of the summer and the longest days are here. Car rides, ferry boat rides, time spent walking or jogging on the boardwalk and/or lounging on the beach are all great for straightening one's head. Especially in the company of good family and friends. And time at home sans boy is a prime time to enjoy one's self as well as get a little more done than usual. The time available to achieve my weight loss and fitness goals before my preferred deadlines in mid-October is getting used up quickly, so if I don't start now I can't even get close enough to see and feel the dramatic effects as fully as I'd like. My goal is still 50-60 pounds, but now I have to be more realistic about the time frame. In the 4 months between now and mid-October, I'd like to have been able to lose as much as 35-40 pounds of it. Can I do it? Geez, I hope so!
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