Regular readers (if I have any out there other than the one or two I know of), here I am, posting again. Oh, a long absence, you say- must mean things aren’t going very well! Indeed. I read a book a few months ago written by a girl who lost over 100 pounds just on her own (entitled “Half-Assed”, I’ve probably already mentioned it) and who blogged about it on the way, as have many other success stories that I’m hoping to emulate. She said that in the weight loss blogging world, it is widely known that people who disappear from writing for a time almost ALWAYS have fallen off the wagon. Well, folks, I might need to change my analogy there, because I have fallen off (and stayed off) the wagon so many times I would not have any intact bone structure left were it a reality. Perhaps a kinder terminology can be created for me, like “taking a break.”
-complete tangent here- Do you know and love the late, great, George Carlin? That idea reminds me of his bit on the differences between baseball and football. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check it out.
Anyway, I’m back for now, and I’m seeming to be in more of a mental fuddle than ever! The previous concept I started of “39 to Happiest to 365” is definitely still in the cards, but I need to come back on board first of all, and secondly I need to count the days differently. I was absolutely losing track of which day it was when I wasn’t posting often enough, and it was a pain to recount. Maybe it would strike more fear and understanding in me to see the days ticking DOWN to the big day of reckoning rather than upward. T-minus 307 days today, for example. And then each time I check in with myself I can do the math as to how fast I would have to lose to meet my “deadline”- always touted as an unhealthy way to look at it, but I can’t help it, that’s how I roll. I’m still able to meet my ultimate goal at this point by losing an average of about pound every 4 days. The max recommended usually to do realistically and safely is 2 pounds a week, so this week is pretty much the moment of truth for me. I’m still good there, but if I don’t get going asap, I’ll be looking at meeting my goal past when I want to, which is a pretty defeating position to be in mentally.
As far as the mid-life crisis thing, I think I’m only going to delve into it in a piecemeal fashion here and there on this blog, for now. It feels like a huge can of worms spewing out everywhere when I bring it up, so I need to sneak up on it, and just pick at it, gradually. Suffice it to say that it comes and goes, but toward the end of last week it felt like it was in a full rage. And then it let up over the weekend. And later this week it's kinda back on again. So many issues to talk about, but so little time, stay tuned…
(P.S. I have been exercising since Saturday or so- I had a make up pole dancing class that kicked my ass on Saturday, I took thousands of trips up and down my townhouse stairs carrying piles and boxes Sunday while purging the house of excess stuff, which made me feel almost as light as having lost real weight, went for a jog Monday eve, and went for a very long and very brisk walk at lunch Tuesday, which I topped off with walking up the 8 flights of stairs to my office. (That part was a mistake, I was gasping like a fish on land!) But then pollen and a sick kid got me, so I’ve missed a couple days since…
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