Wishes

Things that I wish, in no particular order:

I wish I could make myself get more sleep, to recharge my body and mind without feeling like I was taking any time away from my child, my husband, and especially myself.

I wish we had enough financial stability not to have to think about it nearly as often.

I wish I could live in more temperate weather and embroiled in less vehicular congestion, without actually having to leave all the people and places in this area that I am so deeply rooted to. 

I wish that I wasn’t so emotionally over reactive to every little thing that comes up with my son, my husband, or our family life.  I’d like to be able to take the downs along with the ups of everyday life in stride a lot better.

I wish I didn’t feel so frenetic all of the time.  I think I genuinely have more things to do and focus on than I actually have time or brain space to manage all at once, and that feels unpleasant a lot.  I wish I could either find a way to either reduce those responsibilities and obligations, or at least reduce that sensation and perception.

I wish I was able to be more frugal with resources, both physical and financial, including things both expended and ingested.

I wish I could ignore what other people think, say, and do more, so I’d feel more comfortable in my own skin.

I wish I were a better and more patient parent.

I wish I could pare our belongings down to a much more austere and organized minimum, thereby making it easier to achieve and maintain a Zen like home.

I wish it did not seem so difficult to set aside the time and energy to pursue physical fitness to a much greater extreme.

I wish it was more common and acceptable to have only one child by choice, because it was an emotionally challenging decision that I’m constantly reminded sets me apart from the norm more far more often than I’d prefer.

I wish I was able to continually feel more connected to those closest to me than I sometimes get to, and that I did not feel so socially awkward around people that I’m not already close to.

I wish I was able to allow myself to feel bad feelings about anything and everything without feeling like I get mired in them, and without feeling so compelled to squelch them and soothe myself with unhealthy foods.

Ok, so these are some of the main, major things that weigh me down now and then.  I felt like getting them all out there might help.  We’ll see!