Tired of the Rollercoaster

Today has been a horrible example of all the things I want to get away from, stop doing, improve upon, and change about myself. I’ve been letting big picture of negativity build up some steam lately, fretting about every different thing from behavioral issues with my son to upcoming promotional opportunities and the stress that comes along with that, to some upcoming dentistry of which I am quite phobic. I’m also feeling some funk from the many days of cloudy, dank, near-darkness the weather has brought of late, as is a common issue for me this time of year. I’ve been about as undisciplined as one could possibly be regarding not getting enough sleep, not working out as much as I’d planned (not zero, at least, but not nearly enough), and I have been allowing myself to be destructive with food, too. Chocolate continues to be a serious problem.

This is a vicious cycle, and I am mired in fairly deep. It makes me feel physically and mentally terrible, and I know it puts me at risk for being prone to getting sick, too, which at this time of year with such a flu outbreak would particularly suck. I CAN find a way to improve these things, by chipping away at one thing at a time, bit by bit; until the cumulative effects start to build upon themselves; much like the negativity is doing in reverse now. It is entirely possible, I know this on a theoretical level, and I certainly have the knowledge of the how to do it. But inertia is a powerful foe. One I must wrestle with entirely too often. It takes extremely dedicated, continuous hard work to succeed, and it only takes about a split second of slacking to drop the ball. Ugh.