Sunday, February 28, 2010

39 to Happiest in 365

This winter sucked ass.  There's just no other good way to put it.  The weather and my family's collective health has taken a substantial toll on me, and I am beyond overjoyed to be kicking February to the curb.  With that comes March, and with that comes by birthday, the one before the one that's been bugging me.  39.  I have one year of important achievements ahead of me, because I can't bear the thought of turning 40 with so much that I'd like to improve upon in my life, most of which being completely within my control.  Top of the list is the ever-present elephant in this blog, my desired weight loss, but it's so much more than that.  It's taking better care of myself, and having better regard for what I put in my body.  It's having the discipline to be better organized and prepared for and during daily life.  It's having more energy and being a more patient parent.  I'm down to one year to improve upon those things before the big 4-0, and I feel like one large step toward keeping these things at the top of my priority list this year would be to take daily steps in that direction and discuss my progress once or more a day.  I'd like this 365 day self-improvement project to succeed, and I'd like to share my experience, and the outcome, with anyone who's interested.  I'm debating whether to separate it from this very personal blog and advertising it more widely to general readers, or just to plod along with the one I've already got set up and make my entries here.  Whatever I decide I'll let you know.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Snowpocalypse

I realize I've been complaining a lot lately, but I simply can't help it at this point.  Just as I am starting to recover some energy from the eternal cold, eager to get back on the working out horse, we get the snowpocalypse of 2010.  Might be the biggest snowstorm in this area, on record, ever.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful for something so interesting, pretty, and potentially fun, but I have no further interest in being trapped in winter hell.  Over it!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Groundhog Day

As endearing as a national tradition surrounding a big cuddly-looking groundhog may be, that little rat correctly predicts more crappy winter to come every single year, and it kind of annoys me a little. I am 38 years old (for another month, anyway), and I think we’ve only had an unusually milder winter resulting in his prediction of an early spring once in my lifetime. I hate winter. I hate dark, I hate cold, and although in theory snow is pretty and fun, in reality it upsets the fragile balance of my work/daycare schedule and makes the roads dangerous if you’re forced to be out on them. Since I don’t get the time and freedom to go sledding anymore, no thanks, I’d rather be without it. Of course, I do love a few moments of wonder outside in it with my sweet boy, but he’s pretty quick to enjoy it, get too cold, and want to go right back inside.

Bill Murray’s rendition of Groundhog Day made me a laugh a lot in college, but sadly is indicative of how I’ve been feeling about myself and my life lately. It’s kind of a circular treadmill. If I could just get my sh*t together, I could accomplish so much more. Take better care of myself and my health, lose the weight, be a better parent and wife, etc. But instead every day I wake up much like Bill Murray did, stuck in the same day, irrespective of what improvements I had planned on the previous day. Tired, unprepared, flustered, late. Leading me to eat poorly, feel tired, struggle with patience at home and work, not feel like exercising, etc. Oh, and did I mention I’m sick? On my 9th day of a miserable cold, and I have a sick kid and husband too. Wheeeeeee!