Monday, March 8, 2010

39 to Happiest in 365: Day 7

Monday, March 8, 2010.  It’s been just about a week since my 39th birthday, but for me, this is the real Day 1 in terms of my readiness to commit to do this thing, this year, for once and for all, so that I don’t freak out and think I am a hopeless wreck when I turn 40 in 358 days.  So many factors come into play for me in terms of the planets aligning for my “readiness”, and although they are different each time, that feeling is crucial in getting started.  I had a very relaxing and enjoyable weekend.  It finished up the last of the birthday celebrations for me.  It was warm and sunny the entire weekend, and I truly believe this was the turning point for it being spring, finally.  There may still be a colder, windier day here or there this month, but as a whole, as far as I am concerned, it is over (the worst winter ever) and spring is here.  Period!  I’m not going to wear scarves as all day fashion anymore, I put my two pairs of boots away that my feet hid in all winter, and I put my heavier barn coat away in favor of my lighter trench coat.  I even tossed out my beat up old purse and moved into one that has flowers on it, haha, it doesn’t get any “springier” than that, does it?  (It was adorable when the boy went to throw something away this morning, and asked me “Mommy, why did you throw your purse away?”  I loved that purse, it was one of my favorite colors, a bright apple green, but it was a mere 20 bucks from Target, and apparently daily use starting in October gave it a shelf life of about 5 months.  Ah, well.  I have a gorgeous more sturdy Coach, but I don’t like getting it quite so beat up as that.)  The best part of winter being over is that Daylight Savings kicks in next Saturday.  O joyful day, the lights are coming back on! 

Anyway, spring is here, and with that comes facing up to the bod that has been wrapped up for the last few months.  I gained and lost but mostly gained this winter, for a net increase of 15 pounds.  Yikes, as if I wasn’t starting from the bottom of a tall enough mountain; I had to dig a deeper hole from which to begin!  None of my short sleeve tops, which I stocked up on in a bigger size last year, mind you, fit me.  None.  Nada.  Couldn’t even button most of them.  That hurts.  Plus I think my neck is looking decidedly fatter, hello slight double chin that I never had before (those stupid camouflaging scarves were letting me get away with it!) 

Did I mention that a couple of weeks ago a colleague at work asked me if I was pregnant?  What a horror show- I could write a whole long post about that, but I was too humiliated at the time to wallow in it, so I chose not to.  I talked to some of my closer co-workers about it, though, and they reassured me that I don’t look blatantly pregnant (but they sure are wrong if I slouch just right, the tummy is where I hold my extra weight), and that we thought everyone knew the code that you never ask a woman that question unless there is actually a baby crowning out of her!

Now down to brass tacks: the math:
75 pounds in approximately 1 year.
Approximately 1.5 pounds a week average rate to get there.
Required deficit of 750 calories per day average to do that.
Therefore, I will be attempting to eat approximately 1800 calories a day or less and burn 2550 calories a day or more, give or take.

If you read this blog regularly and have for some time now, you know I’ve made these starts and decrees before.  A lot of times.  Ad nauseum.  Sometimes I made it a couple of weeks, sometimes I only made it a couple of hours.  Please, please, if you believe in any kind of higher power, pray for me to succeed this time.  I feel like it is kind of a last resort, because I can’t keep going on like this, and I find the thought of turning 40 without feeling healthy, fit, and good about myself to be verging on tragic, not that it should be but that is where my head is at.  If you don’t believe in anything spiritual, at least cross your fingers and wish me luck, I need it!

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